Expectations…They’re a Real Mother

“Goodnight! And tell your Mommy to clean out her car!”

“…Mom I am literally standing right next to you.”

“Well I’m just saying, that if you just take 10 minutes every night after the kids go to bed…”

If I were to add up all of the “just take 10 minutes” that my mother has suggested, I would never sleep again. If it’s not the state of my car, it’s the baskets of laundry I have yet to fold, the toys scattered about my backyard, or the exercise I’m putting off. At times she’s like a living, breathing Instagram feed, reminding me that I’m not doing enough.

Continue reading “Expectations…They’re a Real Mother”

I Don’t Care About Your Diet

I could feel the women’s jaws clench in unison as the pizza man walked across the room. The scent of sauce and cheese, usually a smell of comfort, hung like a harbinger of doom as the kids took their seats at the table.

“I was really good yesterday. I had a hamburger, without the bun. But I did eat a few of the French fries.”

“I haven’t had pizza in months. It’s been so long that the just the smell makes me sick to my stomach. It’s so weird how my body can’t even stomach the thought of unhealthy food anymore.”

“I’ll have just a half piece of cake. With two forks. Sharron and I are going to split it.” Continue reading “I Don’t Care About Your Diet”

I’m Terrified of My Toddler


Want to scare yourself? Scroll through your newsfeed and catch up on current events. Want to terrify yourself so badly, that you crawl under the covers, and rock back in forth in a cold sweat? Scroll through your newsfeed, and then look into the eyes of a toddler (preferably yours, or ones that you actually know. Otherwise it’s creepy) and think about the fact that you are responsible for raising them in this crazy world. I promise, you will never sleep soundly again. Continue reading “I’m Terrified of My Toddler”